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Scarlett Johansson Vs. Sean Penn: A Comparative Timeline

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn's relationship was recently made "official" when they attended Reese Witherspoon's wedding (gasp!) together. Both parties are obviously benefiting from the arrangement (Sean Penn being one of the coolest dudes living today and Scarlett Johansson being, you know, really hot).

However, it is a 24-year difference that we're talking about. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but perhaps a comparative timeline will helps us to understand what the age gap in the Seanlett Johanpenn (you got something better?) relationship actually means.


Sean Penn
marries Madonna.

ScarJo says her first word (possibly "Madonna").


Sean Penn is referred as "the coolest guy in the universe" in the liner notes to Madonna's True Blue.

ScarJo has recently learned to identify the color "blue," but still has no idea what the word "universe" means.


Sean Penn spends 33 days in jail for assaulting a photographer.

ScarJo has been alive roughly 33 days for every one Penn spent in jail. (Weird, right? They were obviously meant for each other.)


Sean Penn fathers first child, Dylan, with Robin Wright Penn.

ScarJo is... seven. (Nothing clever to say here, sorry)


ScarJo makes her movie debut in "North," a movie about a child who is unsatisfied with his real parents and, so goes out in search of new, better parents. Um...

Sean Penn is father to two children.


ScarJo stars in The Horse Whisperer at age 14.

Sean Penn Stars in Hurlyburly in which he has off-camera sex with Anna Paquin, age 16.


ScarJo plays a disillusioned teen in Ghost World.

Sean Penn plays a father with developmental disabilities in I Am Sam.


ScarJo stars in Lost in Translation in which she plays a 25 year old at age 18 and has an unconsummated romance with the much older Bill Murray.

Sean Penn wins his first academy award for Mystic River at age 43. Penn has a 19 year old daughter in the film.


ScarJo stars in Vicky Cristina Barcelona her third film for renowned cradle-robbing director Woody Allen.

Sean Penn wins his 2nd Academy award for Milk at age 48.


ScarJo's first marriage to Ryan Reynolds ends in divorce after three years.

Sean Penn's second marriage to Robin Wright Penn ends in divorce after 14 years.


Sean Penn and ScarJo play footsie in Mexico, show up at Reese Witherspoon's wedding together, then make out in a bar afterward.

These are the (strategically selected) facts. Draw your own conclusions.

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