If you’re trying to impress a geek with your date attire (which, I don’t know, could happen), there are three basic rules you should follow. Here they are, with helpful examples. (You’re welcome!)

Rule #1: Nothing too obvious.

The feeling that they got the reference and another guy didn’t is the geek’s kryptonite. Try these.

“Magneto Was Right” T-Shirt

This is the shirt that teenage mutant revolutionary, Quentin Quire, wore in Grant Morrison’s run on New X-men. Red is the authentic color, but you won’t be able to find it. Settle for white, but just make sure the graphic is right.

“Blue Sun” T-Shirt

“Blue Sun” is the Coca-Cola of the Firefly world. Seeing a woman in a shirt that he’s used to seeing on Jayne will help your geek come to terms with his homo-erotic feelings for the character. Also, it will remind him of River kicking the living Tā mā de out of an entire bar full of martial artist criminals. Shiny.

Any T-Shirt from Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World

May we recommend this replica of Knives’ homemade Sex Bob-omb T-Shirt? Any shirt from the movie will do, though. There’s a full list here.

Legend of Zelda Triforce Earrings

These work because they’re subtle then shocking. “Blah, blah, blah, work, music, blah, blah, bl- HOLY SOCKS! Is that the Triforce?” Putty in your hands.

Rule #2: If you’re going to be obvious, go classic and go big.

Green Lantern Corps Uniform T-Shirt

Logo T-Shirts are always better than character image T-shirts, and a Green Lantern shirt is the best choice because it’s the most believable. Because there are a LOT of Green Lanterns, so who’s to say you’re not a member of the corps. Meaning, it’s easier for him to pretend that you actually are a superhero. Which you should just go with.

Star Trek Uniform Dress

It’s a legitimately cute dress, regardless of the Starfleet logo. Everybody wins.

Rule #3: Anything that’s sexy that’s also geeky is like a hundred times as sexy as just regular sexy.

8-Bit Stockings

Classy. Sexy. Then… nerdy surprise attack!

Gandalf Road Sign Thong

I know, these are so cheesy. But at that point, it will just be hilarious at worst — and at best it will press real hard on your geek’s “Challenge Accepted” button.

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