10 Dank 4/20 Pickup Linesby Scott Alden on April 20, 2020
Not that we condone the use of marijuana, but 4/20 is an international holiday, right? There’s bound to be any number of lovely stoner chicks out there “celebrating” tonight and your regular game just won’t phase them, bro.
Write these ten gems down on your hand and just… be… cool. Okay? You GOT this.
1. “Isn’t it crazy how everything is happening all the time RIGHT NOW? Wait… Hey, I’m Scott.”
2. “(Just stare for 20 seconds) Wait, what’s your name again?”
3. “(Wait until it’s totally silent) Man, this song just makes me want to move.”
5. “I look at you and it’s like ‘I’ve never quite heard it put that way before.’ But, like, just looking at you. You know?!”
5. “I just saw you from across the room and thought ‘I bet she needs a taco right now, too.’”
6. “It’s literally like there’s no one else in the room but you right now. Literally. Wait, is there anyone else in the room?”
7. “Is your father a thief? Oh, because I was wondering who stole my sense of LINEAR TIME.”
8. “I think I can hear your heart beating. (Pause) Okay, that’s definitely my heart, but still.”
9. “I’m pretty sure you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. Have you ever thought about the word ‘gorgeous?’ Does it mean ‘like a gorge?’ Well, that’s not what i mean, but you’re REALLY pretty.”
10. “Did it hurt?” “When you fell out of the ethereal plane and landed on the material plane? I guess that wouldn’t hurt, really, but that must have been weird, right?”