How To Be Aloneby Chiara Atik on April 26, 2020
If you're reading this blog, chances are you don't really want to end up alone in life. And that's fine! But sometimes, whether by circumstance or choice, we end up alone, sometimes for short periods of time, sometimes for longer. So even if you're actively looking for your next relationship, it's important to know how to be alone in the interim.
Think about the last time you were single (or, if you're single now, think about the present): Were you lonely? Or did you just miss your ex? Are you able to want to be in a relationship, but at the same time not be lonely on your own?
Sometimes I think about loneliness in regards to singledom. I wonder how much we equate being single with loneliness, when really one has nothing to do with the other. You can be single, and want to be in a relationship, without being lonely. You can be in a relationship, and feel very alone.
If you panic at the thought of being on your own (especially if you're used to having an ever-present significant other, or group of friends), there are ways to ease into it, to become more comfortable.
This lovely, moving short film, written and performed by Tanya Davis, deals with just this. Davis suggests, for those uninitiated in solitude, to start out with activities that one would normally do on their own: go to a coffee shop, go to the gym. Eat at a lunch counter before you dive into going to a restaurant by yourself.
You don't HAVE to want to be alone, and you don't HAVE to ever get to the point where you're comfortable going dancing by yourself, as Davis does in the video.
But being alone is an important skill to have, equal to any dating skills we could impart on this site. Because while boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, you're always the same. Thus your relationship with yourself is possibly the most important one you'll ever have.
And being alone is a skill that can definitely, slowly, be learned.
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