Oprah-fy Yourself!Knowing just a little bit about things that guys aren’t really supposed to know about — like the Royal Wedding — is an excellent way to meet women. Along those lines, you should know that Oprah Winfrey’s final show of her 25th and final season airs today at 4pm. And you should be ready to hit the happy hours armed with a little bit of knowledge.

Relax, dude. I’m not saying you should actually watch it. But knowing a couple of key facts will allow you to ask disarmingly informed questions and help you to stand out from the pack. Here are 6 topics to break the ice.

1. The Giveaways

Oprah kicked off the final season by arranging travel to Australia for her entire studio audience in a private plane flown by John Travolta. She’s since given away: iPads, Carribean cruises, diamond watches and VW Beetles to audience members — just for showing up. O claims that she’s not doing any more giveaways, but knowing her (as you now do) she might surprise everyone.

Conversation starter: “Did you see the final episode today? I heard she gave every member of the audience an orphaned child.”

2. Stedman

Oprah’s steady partner since 1986 has been a fellow named Stedman. (Yes. That’s his first name.) Stedman is a rock. Oprah has been consistently amazed at the grace with which he’s handled her super-stardom and rumors of her same-sex relationship with Gayle King.

Conversation starter: “Man, it’s gonna be nice for Opes and Stedman to just chill for awhile, huh?”

3. Gayle

Gayle is Oprah’s BFF. Once, Oprah gave Gayle’s mom an awesome 80’s makeover. Yes, there are rumors that O and Gayle have a lesbian relationship, but Oprah has just laughed them off. True O-heads think the rumors are totally bogus, fyi, so don’t expect to score any points with an Ultimate Fan that way.

Conversation starter: “I really hope that there’s a significant role for Gayle in the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network). She’s stood by her through thick and thin and she deserves it.”

4. Stacey Halprin

Stacey Halprin has been a guest on Oprah’s show 11 times since 2001 when she embarked upon her weight loss journey. She has since lost 318 lbs thanks to gastric bypass surgery and Oprah’s inspiration and support. She recently confessed to having gained some of the weight back, but Oprah and her audience, of course, supported her.

Conversation Starter: “Did you see the final episode? Was Stacey Halprin in the audience? How did she look?”

5. The OWN

The OWN is replacing The Oprah Winfrey Show. The Oprah Winfrey Network is basically the same as the Oprah Winfrey Show but, like, a whole channel. All of her “experts” get their own shows now, instead of an occasional guest spot.

Conversation Starter: “Know what show I’d like to see on the OWN? Tom Hanks’ Electric Car Racing Showdown. What about you?”

6. The Final Guest? All of us.

Oprah has decided that her final show will have no guest. Instead, she apparently treated her entire audience as her “guest” and spoke about what she has learned from their years of worship support.

Conversation Starter: “I heard Oprah addressed every one of her fans in her final show. Did she mention me?”

That ought to get you started, but spending a few minutes on Oprah’s website today wouldn’t kill you, right? Just remember, these topics are meant to be icebreakers, not your whole evening. Move on as quickly as possible once the path has been cleared.

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