I’ve had Mindy Kaling’s book, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” on pre-order since, like, December, so naturally I jumped at the chance to read snippets when they became available on scribd. And lo and behold, she’s got some great advice for guys!

Man, it’s seriously so spot on that it makes me want to become a missionary and spread the word of Kaling to the people who need it most (for instance, guys who live in Murray Hill).

Not saying you can’t go right by completely ignoring these tips…but you definitely can’t go wrong by following them.

1. Buy A Peacoat

In Kaling’s words, this will make you look as put together as an Obama speech writer. (Is there a sexier job than a young, brilliant speech writer?)

2. Have A Signature Drink

It’s one thing to say you like scotch…it’s another to say you like a specific brand of scotch. Obviously, you know what you want. That’s hot.

3.Own Several Pairs Of Dark-Wash Straight Leg Jeans

“No embellishments anywhere. At all. Nothing. Oh my god.”

4. Wait Until All The Women In An Elevator Have Gotten Off Before You Get On Or Off

“This small act of politeness is very visual and memorable.” So true! When the guys in my building do this, I totally notice and appreciate it. (And when they don’t….I notice that too. Just saying.)

5. When You Think A Girl Looks Pretty, Say It, But Don’t Reference The Thing That Might Reveal Your Knowledge Of The Backstage Process

Aka, she looks nice, not her boots.
“I didn’t make the boots! I don’t care if you like the boots’ design!”

6. Avoid Asking If Someone Needs Help In The Kitchen, Just Start Helping

Brb, swooning.

7. Have One Great Cologne That’s Not From The Drugstore*

Wear very little of it, all the time.

*Chiara’s note: UNLESS this drugstore brand is “Curve For Men,” in which case feel free to wear it all the time, douse your sheets/pets in it, etc.

8. Your Girlfriend’s Parents Or Siblings Might Be Totally Nuts But Always Defend Them

“All a girl wants to do is to get along with her family, and if you are on the side of making it easy, she will love you eternally.”

Oh god, this is so true! When a girl vents to a guy about her family, she wants him to be sympathetic, not to join in!

9. Don’t Go Overboard On The Products

One hair product, one skin product, a comb, and that’s it. Don’t be high maintenance.

10. You Only Need 2 Pairs Of Shoes

A pair of nice black shoes, and Chuck Taylors. Which you should replace.
(“They cost $40. You can afford a new pair.”)

[Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me Excerpt]