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News Flash: New Yorkers Love New York

Maybe it's a city-wide case of rampant nostalgia for a time when we were all wide-eyed country bumpkins, gleefully handing over our savings to dance crews in Central Park. Maybe it's this string of gorgeous weather that's making the city's horse-and-carriages look like a totally viable way to travel. Whatever it is, die-hard New Yorkers are shamelessly embracing their inner-tourists like the Muppets took Manhattan.

Don't believe us? Check out this rock-hard data from recently proposed dates on HowHookup.com:

More and more New Yorkers are approaching dating in their city like they're on an 8th grade field trip. It's a phenomenon we affectionately refer to as "Tourist Envy," and it is BLOWING UP.

Think YOU might be among the afflicted? Here's a quick quiz to help you self-diagnose:

FIVE WAYS TO TELL IF YOU HAVE "TOURIST ENVY"

1. Have you seen "Ghostbusters 2" twice as many times as the original because the sight of the Statue of Liberty dancing around to "(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher," fills you with girlish glee?

2. Do you find yourself humming the theme song to Law and Order: SVU on your way to work?

3. Is your bedroom mirror is lined with expired MetroCards?

4. Do you eat at Tom's Diner everyday and refer to it, consistently, as "The Seinfeld Diner?"

5. Do you often wonder if a "hop on, hop off" double-decker bus tour might be "just as fast" as taking a taxi?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions then we're afraid you've got it bad for The Big Apple. In fact, you probably still secretly call it "The Big Apple." Nothing left to do now but to put on your best socks and sandals and propose a date straight from the pages of "Let's Go New York!" OR... if you want to REALLY act like a tourist and just let someone else do all the thinking for you, you could propose one of these HowHookup.com dates with the click of a button!

"How Hookup... dress up like Depression-era hobos and tour the Federal Reserve gold vault?"

"How Hookup...make a giant sidewalk chalk drawing, then try to find it with binoculars from the top of the Empire State Building?"

"How Hookup...buy brand spanking new "I

Like a bored married couple who meets up at a bar and pretend to be strangers for the night, embracing your inner tourist could be a way of seeing your city again with fresh eyes. We applaud you, faux-tourists! It's only a matter of time before ACTUAL tourists start bitching about YOU.

p.s. In the meantime, don't forget to stick to your side of the sidewalk:

6 Comments

  • 1.

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    Barbara
    63 / Female / Straight

    BE SURE to see the video at the end of this wonderful article!!!! Extremely entertaining...and funny and creative...

    June 11, 2020 at 11:48pm

  • 2.

    1276480577
    julyjuly
    26 / Female / Straight

    This reminds me of a great NYT piece about how people never visit the landmarks in their own backyard because they always assume they'll have more time: https://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/29/science/29tier.html Glad to see that HBW-ers are bucking the trend.
    (Yes, that was way too earnest a response for such a funny post...sue me. :)

    June 14, 2020 at 12:00pm

  • 3.

    1280707754
    ABBA4Life
    25 / Female / Straight

    love the faux-tourist movement. i would definitely do the circle line tour. and i feel like one of those foam statue of liberty crowns would need to be involved.

    June 14, 2020 at 1:41pm

  • 4.

    1269862657
    miacometbather
    30 / Female / Straight

    Dress like a tourist and act wild in my hometown? YES PLEASE!

    June 14, 2020 at 3:59pm

  • 5.

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    Reve80
    29 / Female

    Great article! I'm proud to be a native new yorker! Wish i still lived there. Yes, i agree...the video at the end is a must-see!

    June 17, 2020 at 2:02pm

  • 6.

    1279904803
    rarebreed
    29 / Male / Straight

    Having been born and raised here, I found this article a little annoying, and aimed at long-term tourists who wear the merit badge of "I'm a New Yorker" even though they came here 2 years ago. I'm more nostalgic for the time when tourists were few and far in between. I'll take crime, gangs, mafia, hookers, and squeegee guys over tourists any day-- well, not really, but can't they all just go somewhere else or learn how to walk properly?

    August 16, 2020 at 9:18am

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