Sometimes, a friend of mine will tell me about a sweet thing her boyfriend said or did, and I’ll think “WhydoesntthathappentoME! Where is MY boyfriend!” Other times, a friend will relay a story or tidbit from her boyfriend, and my inner monologue will be a succinct, “SO glad I don’t have to put up with that.”

We’re all looking for love, and there’s no doubt that being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing.

But if you’re looking for a reminder that the grass is not always greener, check out these “D’oh!” boyfriend comments collected by Cosmopolitan.

For example:

“My ex-boyfriend and I had plans to go out with a bunch of his friends and he told me his ex, whom I’d never met, would be there. Then he gave me a disclaimer: ‘She’ll probably get wasted and try to grind on me and pinch my nipples through my shirt, but don’t get sensitive and all jealous girlfriend on me, OK?’” —Amanda, 27


“When I found out that my boyfriend Greg’s friends referred to his ex as tits-on-a-stick (because she was skinny and had a huge rack), I was upset. Greg tried to console me by saying, ‘Well, you’re almost tits-on-a-stick.’” —Jess, 27

So, yeah, you’re single, but at least you’re not dating a total doofus? Silver lining, guys. Silver lining.

Read the full list here.

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