Sometimes, a friend of mine will tell me about a sweet thing her boyfriend said or did, and I’ll think “WhydoesntthathappentoME! Where is MY boyfriend!” Other times, a friend will relay a story or tidbit from her boyfriend, and my inner monologue will be a succinct, “SO glad I don’t have to put up with that.”

We’re all looking for love, and there’s no doubt that being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing.

But if you’re looking for a reminder that the grass is not always greener, check out these “D’oh!” boyfriend comments collected by Cosmopolitan.

For example:

“My ex-boyfriend and I had plans to go out with a bunch of his friends and he told me his ex, whom I’d never met, would be there. Then he gave me a disclaimer: ‘She’ll probably get wasted and try to grind on me and pinch my nipples through my shirt, but don’t get sensitive and all jealous girlfriend on me, OK?’” —Amanda, 27

And

“When I found out that my boyfriend Greg’s friends referred to his ex as tits-on-a-stick (because she was skinny and had a huge rack), I was upset. Greg tried to console me by saying, ‘Well, you’re almost tits-on-a-stick.’” —Jess, 27

So, yeah, you’re single, but at least you’re not dating a total doofus? Silver lining, guys. Silver lining.

Read the full list here.

Filed Under:
Tweet