Is Dating "Hard Until It's Not?"by Scott Alden on June 15, 2020
When you work in the dating biz, you hear "horror stories." Of course you do. Someone texted 27 times the day after a first date. Someone else snapped at the waiter. Or asked way too personal questions. Or cried.
These things do happen. People do have issues and -- along with mints, condoms and cash -- they often bring these issues with them on a date.
Huffington Post blogger Nina Lorenz Collins suggests, in her recent post extolling the virtues of online dating, that singles may have to deal with these issues until they click with someone:
"At one point when I was crying to my therapist about the latest insult or failed mini-relationship, she said to me 'dating is hard until it's not.' Banal perhaps, but later I realized truer words could not have been spoken. You date and date, and get hurt, and hurt someone, and have bad sex, good sex, no sex, and then boom! one week you're on a third and then a fourth and then a fifth date with someone who seems to be kind and sane and sexy and maybe all the things you've been looking for."
This will certainly ring true for many hopeful romantics out there. Dating isn't easy, but finding someone that you really connect with, or the promise of finding that person, makes it all worth it.
I can't help but wonder, though: Does dating have to be so hard? Is there an approach to dating that makes it feel less like the hell we have to go through until we find a relationship?
Well. We can get creative, for one thing. As singles, we rely so much sitting across a table from someone over dinner, drinks or coffee. Who among us is really our best self over dinner, drinks or coffee? If we're not having a good time on our dates we have to start asking ourselves -- Are we doing anything fun on our dates?
Until we meet a person who's right for us, we're going to go on a lot of dates with people who aren't right for us. But, maybe by going on non-traditional, crazy, educational or life-enriching dates, we can stop being frustrated that we're not finding the one long enough to realize that we're actually enjoying the search.
How it works: 1) Invent fun dates. 2) Ask people out. 3) Do something awesome, together. Sign up for free here.
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