There are a lot of things we wish we could ask on a first date, but never really would. Here are some (slightly) milder questions that will still give you the information you want, without sounding crazy.

1. Where do you usually hang out on weekends?
The hottest club in town? Coffee shops? In the backyard, BBQing with friends? With family? The answer will tell you a lot about what’s important to your date.

2. If you could move to any other place, where would you go?
According to AskMen:

“Her choice can reveal a lot about her likes and dislikes, but it also tells you where she’s at in this phase of her life. This first date question will allow you to find out if she would be daring enough to relocate to a new city without hesitation, or if stability is more of a priority.”

This question is great for girls and guys: does your date also see himself leaving the big city for the country eventually? If so, you obviously have the same priorities.

3. How often do you get to see your family?
Whether the answer is “not that often” or “every day!”, the answer will tell you a lot about your date’s attitude towards family. Is he or she really close to the family, or more of a lone ranger? Always good information to know.

4. What’s the best part of your job?
If you ask someone on a first date whether they like their job, the answer will probably be a vague “Yeah, sure, I guess.” To really see how they feel about their chosen career, see with how much enthusiasm they answer this question.

5. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
This is a playful, goofy question, and your date will probably just think you’re trying to break the ice. But what you’re really asking is “Does your sense of humor mesh with mine?” Do they easily come up with a joke, or refuse to play along? Is their joke corny or dirty or lame? Does it actually make you laugh? Nothing ignites a spark like making your companion laugh.