Yesterday, we discussed monogamy, or rather whether the absence of it can work in a marriage. Sex expert Dan Savage makes the argument that if women had been allowed to keep lovers and concubines the way men were once allowed to, then monogamy wouldn’t at all be expected between husband and wife.

It sounds unconventional, but it certainly works for some people. The most famous example of this is probably the eccentric British actress, Tilda Swinton, who lives with her long-time love, John Byrne, but travels with Sandro Kopp, her boyfriend.

Sources say that Swinton is “very much in love” with both Byrne, who is 20 years her senior, and Kopp, who is 18 years her junior.

Swinton and Byrne have two children, who they raise together in their house in Scotland. Swinton met Kopp while filming The Chroni-(what!)-cles of Narnia, where he played a Centaur and she played the lead. They were immediately smitten, and have been together ever since.

Byrne, of course, has full knowledge of this arrangement. Kopp attends most official engagements with Tilda (including major award ceremonies), while he stays home. Swinton will often bring Kopp back to Scotland to stay with the family.

So who sleeps with whom, when all three members of this couple are together?

“I wouldn’t encourage you to ask anything like that,” Byrne grouchily told The Daily Mail.

But as unconventional as the arrangement might seem, it absolutely seems to work.

“What is true is that John and I live here with our children and Sandro is sometimes here with us, and we travel the world together. We are all a family.” Tilda said in 2020.

So, back to Dan Savage’s argument that monogamy was never expected of men, and shouldn’t be expected of women: Tilda Swinton has proved that women can take consorts with as little hesitation or fuss as men take mistresses.

“What you must also know is that we are all very happy.” She has said.

Point taken.

[Source: The Daily Mail]

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