How To Hook Up In The Hamptons: The Ultimate Guideby Chiara Atik on August 23, 2020
Editor’s note: This post was originally published in July, but we’re sharing it again; you still have a few weeks left to squeeze in a summer fling!
The Hamptons are the summer playground of the East Coast — the perfect place for young people to escape from the mundanities of everyday life and truly revel in the sun, sand, and day-drinking days of summer. Needless to say, with all those care-free attitudes (and free-flowing drinks), hooking up is on everyone’s mind. So how to find the perfect summer fling in the Hamptons?
We asked Hamptons locals and natives for their thoughts on where to meet people, where to date, and how to hook up in the Hamptons.
Where To Meet People
In the Hamptons, there are four main places to meet people.
1) En Route
The jitney or the train to the Hamptons is one of the best places to meet single people in New York, period. You’re trapped in a bus or compartment with 100+ other people, all of whom are going to basically the same place you are. On Friday nights especially, people are excited about the weekend, and often drinking. There’s a unique festive atmosphere, and it’s so easy to strike up conversation. (“Where are you staying?” “Have you been to ___?” “Would you like some wine from a carton?”)
Once you get to your Hamptons destination, if you don’t have anyone picking you up you’ll probably end up sharing a cab. Make sure to make small talk, and if you meet someone you like say something casual like “Maybe I’ll see you at the beach/at Surf Lodge/around.”
An added bonus of public transportation is that the demographic tends to be younger and more often single. (Couples or families are more likely to rent cars.)
2) At the Beach
The beach is an easy enough place to meet people in groups. Try our beach ball trick, for example, or pack an extra case of beer which you can offer to the cute group on the beach blanket next to yours. (Also, an old-school tip: have your frisbee “accidentally” land near someone.)
3) At Parties
The Hamptons are of course famous for parties, which consequently are an excellent place to meet movers and shakers. Of course, you have to be invited to said parties, and if you don’t have a pre-existing “in” or connection, this could be difficult. A good strategy is to hang out at The Bridgehampton Polo Club, where you can easily meet people of fete-throwing ilk. Also, check out the listings on Guest of a Guest Hamptons to get a sense of what parties are coming up (and who’s throwing them.)
4) At the Bars
The easiest (and sloppiest, but still, easiest) place to meet a hook-up or date in the Hamptons is out at bars. It’s summer, people are away from the city, the alcohol is flowing, and everyone is looking for a summer fling.
Ruschmeyer’s, the newly-opened Montauk hotspot, is by far one of the most frequented and lauded Hamptons Pick-up spots.
“A couple of my housemates swear by the teepee at Ruschmeyer’s.”-Anon.
“Ruschmeyer’s is usually flooded by model look alikes (or just models) sipping Rosé, of both the male and female genders. Think of it as not a place to “make love in the club” but more of a place to get that magical (and drunk) end of the night kiss.”-GofG Hamptons editor Chelsea Burcz
Other suggestions from Hamptons locals:
“Surf Lodge late night is ideal place to meet a guy, have a dance party, sneak out for a makeout session but not go home with him.” -Anon.
“AXE Lounge. They just did a redesign so the booths allow for a more..intimate..setting for guests. Plus it’s been there for 6 years now, so you get a good mix of true Hamptonites not just the out-of-towners and share house crowds. Also- Southampton Social Club..seems like everyone is ending up there lately, and it’s a ton of fun.” -Ariel Moses
“Dance floor at TalkHouse. It may not be the BEST hookup spot, but it’s definitely one of the most frequented. Runner up: Sloppy Sundays at the Sloppy Tuna.”- Anon
“I suggest starting at AXE Lounge and then if all goes well, my house afterwards.”-Brian Mazza, Paige Management
Of course, according to one of our sources there’s one place to absolutely avoid at all costs:
“If you find yourself at The Memory in Montauk you know two things. 1.Your dignity was probably lost hours ago and 2. You will most definitely wake up in the morning regretting any and everything you did there. Not to say there aren’t any respectable people there, but “The Mem” isn’t exactly the best place to bring somebody if you’re trying to impress them.” -Maggie McGlinchy
Where To Take A Date
Supposing you did manage to meet someone on the Jitney/at the beach/at a bar, and have moved beyond/skipped the sloppy hook-up. It’s time for a date!
The good news is, a date in the Hamptons is automatically easier than a date in the real world. You and your date are away from home, away from the stresses of work, and life is idyllic. You’re both in pretty good moods, and the serene and picturesque setting spells instant romance.
A fail-proof Hamptons date idea? Picnic at the beach. It’s private, it’s thoughtful, and it’s making the most out of your surroundings.
But if sitting on sand isn’t your style, here are some other options:
“Sunset Beach, of course, when the sun is setting followed by a glass of wine by the fire pit.” -Brian Mazza
“My go-to Hamptons date is sunset cocktails at either Surf Lodge or Montauket and then sushi at the West Lake Chowder House. If you’re not into the Montauk fisherman/local scene however, the bar at The Palm is good too.” -Anon
“If you’re looking for like an intimate date, probably Copa in Bridgehampton (it’s a tapas restaurant & wine bar) or Suki Zuki In Water Mill (fantastic sushi). If you’re looking for more bustling spot, definitely Trata in Water Mill where there’s always a good looking and cool crowd and their Greek food is to die for.”-Ariel Moses
“Just recently I went on a date to Pierre’s in Bridgehampton, and I have to say it was fantastic. Pierre’s is a romantic casual atmosphere, with indoor and outdoor seating, and amazing French cuisine. It’s a great place to sip French wine and get to know someone.” -Chelsea Burcz
“Cyril’s Fish House in Amagansett is the best daytime date spot.”-Anon
Best Morning-After Breakfast
Any night out in the Hamptons (whether following a romantic date, regrettable hookup, romantic hookup, or regrettable date) needs to be followed by a hangover-blasting breakfast.
“The Amagansett Farmer’s Market alll the way. Depending on how much you like the decisions you make the night before, you can either grab a bacon egg and cheese and bounce immediately, or stick around for coffee, paper, croissants etc. Although I hear that there is a house full of girls on Lincoln Lane in East Hampton that make their visitors a pretty sweet breakfast!!”-Anon
“If you want to do a quick coffee run and then a “ninja-out” move- Golden Pear in Southampton. If you actually like the person and want to spend your morning with them (albeit that rare occurrence), I would have to say Driver’s Seat in Southampton for a low-key classic breakfast or Candy Kitchen in Bridgehampton (it’s more of a 1950′s diner, but it’s a great conversation piece).”-Ariel Moses
“That next morning can be a rough one. All you want is a strong coffee and some scrambled eggs. Head over to Hampton Coffee Company in East Hampton for their freshly brewed iced coffee and extensive breakfast menu. Most of their meals have a Mexican twist, which is just the kick you need to get those gears turning the morning-after.”-Chelsea Burcz
Important Tips To Remember
-If you go home with someone to a share house, make sure they have their own room.
-If you leave your town for the night, make sure you have transportation set up. (Many cabs won’t go from Montauk to Amagansett, for example, after a certain time of night.)
-Try to date people who have their own cars, or are staying nearby: nothing kills the romance like having to wait around for an hour for a group taxi to come pick you up.
-If you go to someone’s house, no matter how far gone you are, try and note the address or nearby cross-streets. That way, if you decide you want to leave (or sneak out in the morning) you can tell a cab where to come get you.
-Remember, The Hamptons are not that big. If you see someone at Surf Lodge one night, there’s a very good chance you will run into them again on the jitney, or in town, or the following week at Surf Lodge. Just keep that in mind.
What tips would you add? Tell us in the comments!