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Vocab Lessons: Date Downgrade

Today in "things I didn't know were a 'thing'": apparently, you can be demoted before your date even starts. It's a practice that a surprisingly large number of my co-workers are familiar with.

Date Downgrade: When someone changes date plans to something more casual, thus lessening the intensity of a date. See Also: Red Flags.

For example, one of my friends got downgraded last night. She was supposed to go on a dinner date to Maialino on Saturday night. (Maialino = nice restaurant.) Yesterday, he called and asked if she could do Thursday instead. ("Sure.") But then, he told her that they'd meet for "drinks and apps." ("Uhm.")

Saturday night dinner > Thursday night "drinks and apps."

Date downgrade.

As I was explaining the concept of a date downgrade to my coworkers, I was horrified when two of them laughed and said "Yeah... I do that all the time." (Male and female, mind you.)

So what does it mean when someone downgrades a date on you? It could be a few different things.

1. Money! Sometimes a guy or girl will realize that they simply don't have the cash this week to spring for a nice dinner -- so they'll casually suggest drinks instead. They still want to go out with you! Just...less expensively.

2. Tentative Interest! He or she thinks they like you...but they'd rather have drinks with you (preferably at happy hour after work -- when they were going to be drinking anyway) and find out for sure before giving you prime Saturday night real estate. (If all goes well, you'll be re-upgraded in no time.)

3. No Time! Your date could genuinely be super busy at the moment, and simply not have time for a long date. It really does happen! If you really like them, give them the benefit of the doubt -- but beware the line "Things just got crazy at work..." It's one of the most classic "blow-off" lines in the book.

Have you ever been the victim of a Date Downgrade -- or is it something you've done yourself? Tell us in the comments.

The Date Report is the companion blog to, a dating site that makes it fun and easy to go on awesome dates. How it works: 1) Invent fun dates. 2) Ask people out. 3) Do something awesome, together. Sign up for free here. Don't forget to join us on Twitter and Facebook -- and download our brand-new app here!


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