Knowing when to suggest a date on an online dating site is hard — you don’t want to be too eager, but you also don’t want the messaging back and forth to drag on and on.

At, suggesting a date is something that happens right up front: usually, you’ll message someone because of the date that they’ve already proposed.

Some users have no problem saying “This date sounds awesome, let’s do it!” and immediately scheduling a time.

But for others, who need to know a little more about a person before agreeing to meet, knowing at what point to start making plans can be difficult.

Below are some suggestions of when to “pop the question.”


-When you find common ground on something — a TV show, a hobby, an interest. “What do you say we grab a drink and quiz each other on Star Wars triva?” for instance, or “Well, since you studied abroad in Spain, would you be up for Tapas? I’ve been meaning to try this place downtown.”

-When you don’t have anything else to say online, but you think you might like this person. “You seem awesome — would you be up for meeting for a drink sometime next week?”

-After 3 back-and-forths. You said something, they responded back. You said something else, they responded back. You said a third thing, they responded a third time. Now it’s time to decide whether you want a penpal or a date. (Hint: You want a date.)

When do you guys know the time is right to suggest meeting in person? Let us know!

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