I know what you’re thinking. You’ve been hitting the gym and, now that you’re cut like 90’s Calvin Klein Ad Marky Mark, the ladies need to know. Or maybe you’re sure that a glimpse of your full-on Magnum PI chest-sweater is more effective than 1000 witty personal messages. But nothing says “I’ve got dick pics cached and ready to send to any woman who shows even the slightest interest” than a self-shot, shirtless profile photo.

That’s not to say that women don’t like seeing a guy with their shirt off (the timeless popularity of hunky firefighter calendars and the Twilight Trilogy proves that they do). It’s just that the blatant presentation of your bare chest sends the message that you’re more into you than you’ll be into her. And a total Adonis like you is hard to compete with.

All joking aside, topless mirror shots on your profile make it nearly impossible for quality women to take you seriously. If you really feel like you want to show off the goods in your profile, that’s valid, but make sure that the goods are shown off in a plausible shirtless setting* and that the picture is taken by someone else.

*Plausible shirtless settings include the beach, the b-ball court, bouldering, on a boat, by the pool or in a steel cage match.

Originally published in July 2020.