We’ve encouraged people who struggle with filling out their own dating profiles to approach friends for help: after all, it’s way easier to write about how awesome your friends are than it is to write about how awesome you yourself are.

So, if you do get asked to help write (or ghost write) a dating profile, here are some suggestions on how to put your friend in their best light.

Get The Details From Your Friend

You probably already have a general sense of what your friend is looking for (or not looking for) in a date. Still, a quick recap conversation will help narrow things down for the both of you.

1. What age range are they willing to date?
2. Is he/she looking for a serious relationship, or just someone to go out with?
3. What are the three most important qualities they’re looking for?
4. What are two dealbreakers?

The answers to their questions will help guide, though not dictate, what you write.

Take Over The Picture Situation

It’s an interesting phenomenon that the pictures people like best of themselves are rarely the ones other people would choose as the most flattering.

Take a gander through your friend’s Facebook pictures, and try to find ones in which they look like they’re happy and having fun, and also look like themselves. Let your friend keep their carefully cropped, slightly weird, not all that true to life picture, but don’t use it as the main one.

Subtly Highlight Your Friend’s Best Qualities

Again, your friend will have distinct ideas about what makes him or her cool, but you’re actually in a better position to determine what someone might find appealing about him or her. Quickly think of five things you think are awesome about your friend, (example: spent six months backpacking through South America, has the world’s highest tolerance for Jager bombs) and find ways to drop that into the profile.

Another way of thinking about it: if you were setting your friend up on a blind date (and by the way, you totally should) how would you pitch them? “He’s really funny, has an awesome job, and is always there for his friends.” That’s what you need to get across.

Be Flirty, Take Risks

People tend to be a tad conservative while writing their dating profiles — they feel shy, modest, and maybe a little goofy. But you have nothing to lose! Make your answers funny, flirty, and confident. Chances are, you’ll be able to sound more confident and relaxed than your friend would.

Get A Secret Second Opinion

Grab someone your friend doesn’t know, show him the answers to the profile questions (to protect your friend’s privacy, copy and paste them into an email instead of sending a profile link).

Ask: Would you date this person?

If they say no, ask why. Is it because of a specific difference in taste or personality, or because something is actually off-putting or not appealing enough in your answers?

Be Willing To Compromise

You might be thrilled with the final result, but remember, this isn’t your magnum opus, it’s your friend’s dating profile. Meaning: if they see something they don’t like, they have every right to change it.

This can be annoying, sure, and you can definitely feel free to argue your case as to why you think X should be included, but ultimately, your friend has to be happy and comfortable with the final result.

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