For some time now, sex has been divided into two main categories — casual or non-casual. The term “casual sex” supposedly covers sex that takes place outside of a committed relationship. We call it “casual” because it is supposed to be meaningless and unemotional.

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Guys. We know better than that. What we feel during sex depends on a lot more factors than whether or not the person on top of us or underneath us is our boyfriend or girlfriend. The term “casual sex” implies that we’re not supposed to feel anything for sex partners with whom we’re not in a committed relationship. Sex can be anonymous, purely for fun, or with someone you’re never going to see again, but rarely is it ever completely devoid of emotion or responsibility.

It seems time that we adopted a more nuanced way of talking about the kind of sex we’re having.

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Let’s say that what “casual sex” actually describes is that small percentage of sex that legitimately doesn’t go beyond pure physical pleasure. Here’s a list of some of the other kinds.

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1. Intense Orgasm Sex

You know, it normally requires a little trust and getting to know each other before you can have a really mind-blowing orgasm. Sometimes, however, two people just have the right chemistry/skill set and one or the other of you has this very vocal, crazy, hair-pulling, back scratching orgasm right off the bat. And there you are. Feeling more vulnerable than you intended to.

2. Rough Sex

It doesn’t matter if you met that night and never intend to see each other again — if you’re beating the heck out of each other, it’s not casual. Even for people who truly enjoy it, rough sex can call up some scary feelings. If you’re going to go there, with anyone, you should really be communicating beforehand, during and afterwards.

3. Make Up Sex

What is it about make up sex that everyone loves so much? Is it the intensity of the fight that precedes it that amplifies the intimacy? The relief that the disagreement didn’t kill the relationship? Whatever it is, it ain’t casual, folks.

4. “I Love You” Sex

Even if you’re not saying the words, you’re thinking them. You’re saying it with your eyes and the way you move. The words might even slip out of your mouth if you’re not careful.

Which is going to require a conversation, probably.

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5. “I Hate You” Sex

Anger’s an emotion too. Being pissed at someone doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything for them, especially if you’re expressing it sexually.

6. Anal Sex

Unless you’re one of those people who just finds butt sex super easy to pull off (and bless you if you are), you’re going to need to deal with lube, possibly toys and a lot of trust to make it work. Again, you can have anal sex with someone you don’t know very well, but it’s never “whatevs.”

7. “First Time” Sex

Whether it’s the first time you’ve been blindfolded or the first time someone’s played with your nipples, firsts are always significant and exciting.


If there are verbal contracts and safewords involved, it’s not casual. It’s important to note here that non-casual sex can be anonymous(i.e. you met at a sex club), it’s just not really laissez-faire.

9. Accidental Pregnancy Sex

Maybe you thought it was casual, but if the stick turns pink, it’s definitely not casual anymore.

10. Trying-to-get-pregnant sex

Obviously. Not. Casual.

Did we miss one? Tell us in comments!

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