Few things make love sour faster than a poorly-executed Facebook relationship. Sure, Facebook is a great way to determine if you’re more attractive than a person’s ex or if they seem happier with you than they did with them (you’ve done it, don’t lie), but it’s also a minefield of potential faux pas and easy missteps. Here’s how to navigate them in just eight easy steps:
1. Don’t write personal messages on a public space.
Yes, even I write “I miss you” and “I love you!” messages on Facebook. But do you know to whom I write those? My friends in London and San Francisco. Not to the person I just saw last night. Instead of writing a public post why don’t you … (wait for it)… pick up the phone and call your beloved. They’ll think you’re so retro!
2. Have a pet name? Keep it to yourself.
This is as much for your relationship with your friends as it is your relationship with your partner. Sure, you’re friends are so happy that you’re in love! But they’re also super happy not to lose their lunch over your sickeningly sweet messages.
3. Limit the amount of “together” photos
. It’s so amazing that you can now take photos from both sides of your iPhone! But with great power comes great responsibility. And part of that responsibility is not sharing every single photo from every single thing you and your partner have ever done.
4. Never, under any circumstance, create a “co” Facebook account.
The fact that these even exist make me believe all love might actually be false.
5. Limit the number of partner-focused status updates.
You’re in love and it’s so wonderful! Mazel Tov, really! While you feel the urge to shout it from the rooftop, sometimes the best way to really celebrate that love is by keeping it private. Sure, it’s nice to occasionally publicly acknowledge when someone does something incredibly sweet. But that loses its specialness when we start learning about how he properly stocked the toilet paper.
6. Agree together about the “relationship status.”
If you’re anything like me, there will be two times when you update your relationship status: when you get engaged and when you get married. Some people want to change that little notification the moment they meet someone (that’s weird). Regardless, don’t spring this on someone. Have a conversation and both agree on what works for you.
7. Don’t vent.
Angry about something someone just did? That little status update is just so hungry for you to share your deepest feelings! But fights and issues are honestly nobody’s business except your own (and perhaps one or two trusted confidants). Your high school librarian honestly doesn’t need to know about them.
8. Never, under any circumstances use the following words:
Hubs, Hubby, hubbers, Boy, Wifey, FIC, etc. Your partner has a name. Use it.
What would you add to this list?
Joy Engel lives and works in Portland, Maine where she tweets far too much and solves the occasional murder-mystery while riding around on a bicycle. Everything she writes is her personal opinion and does not necessarily represent the views of her employer or its clients.