The Love Seat: Meet Matt (and go with the flow)
Nice guys DO exist in New York. Meet Matt, a 28-year-old West Villager and Google sales rep, who believes in chivalry, writes poetry, and understands the power of "suiting up." He also harbors secret date spots that he'll only reveal if you go out with him. Propose a date to Matt here.
What is it like being single in New York?
It's an interesting experience. There are a lot of single girls around, but dating is different from your early 20s to mid-20s. In your early 20s you can meet a girl in a loud bar, but now I stay away from that. It's more about activities and diversifying what you do. That's the best way to meet people.
What is your longest relationship in or out of NYC?
Seven months in the city. I'm not one to date for the sake of dating; I don't let things get past a certain point if I'm not interested.
What kind of women do you typically date?
I like women who are versatile, who can easily go to a slummy bar or the opera. Someone who goes with the flow because that's how I am. I'm laid-back and usually look for someone similar. I also like people with an appreciation of the arts.
What about the arts are you particularly interested in?
I wouldn't say there's one thing. I write on the side - mostly creative writing, poetry and screenplays. I've had a few poems published in literary magazines and received my MFA from the New School last spring... Plus, I'm tired of talking about reality TV, so it's exciting if she talks about books.
So you're a regular Casanova. The ladies must love that.
I don't lead in with it, but yeah, the ladies like it, although it doesn't get me as far as you'd think.
Do you have any age limits?
I date two years above or below. Any more years than that and you're in different life stages.
What's the coolest way you've been asked out or have asked someone out?
As a guy, just getting asked out is cool. Last spring, I wore a three-piece suit to work for a client meeting. I was hoping to have plans after work, since I was suited up, but didn't. Yet, on my train ride home a girl came up to me, we started chatting, and she asked for my number. I was like, 'I should wear suits more often.'
Why do you think that is?
You just look nicer. It's also like how girls are attracted to a man in uniform - a suit is the business uniform.
Calling versus texting?
I still try to call and leave a voice message. If she texts back, then I'll text her. Calling to me is more formal and I think girls appreciate it more. Plus, I get to chat a little.
That's refreshing. Most guys seem afraid of talking on the phone.
I'm in sales. I'm not phone-shy.
The controversial question: Do you split the bill with dates?
I've coached a number of female friends on this. The procedure is this: Guy pays for the first date, girl should reach, guy says "I got it," girl says "Are you sure?" and then the guy pays. Guys should pay for the first few dates, at least the first four, until you start dating. It's a good procedure and is whatever sliver of chivalry left in society. And yes, the reach is always appreciated.
What makes an ideal first date spot?
Good lighting. Not too bright, not too dark. It should feel comfortable, not ostentatious, not too showy, not a five-star place. A hole-in-the-wall place that most people haven't heard of with good food. I try to mix it up; I'll never go to the same place twice. I like to take girls to places I've wanted to try.
Any places in particular? I'd love suggestions.
That's secret information. I can't divulge because then it'll get crowded.
Guess someone has to go out with you to find out.
Haha, yes. For better or worse, I know a lot of good bars in this city.
What's your ideal HowHookup date?
A non-elaborate first date. Something unique and interesting that wouldn't take more than two hours and possibly strand you in the middle of Jersey.
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