If you ever start to date a guy who fits one of the descriptions below, be very very wary: these guys will not make you happy.
Hating your job — where you spend the majority of your time — is a destructive mindset which can poison a relationship. It’s one thing to be mildly dissatisfied with work life while at work, but the guy who is absolutely miserable at his job will spend a good amount of his free time being absolutely miserable about it as well, and that’s not good.
It’s important to like what you do, and if this guy doesn’t, why is he still doing it? Why doesn’t he change his career, or advance in it, or do his best to change his attitude?
You don’t want to date a guy who gets stuck in an unhappy situation and doesn’t do anything about it. Is this what he’s going to be like if there are relationship problems down the line?
He loves her, defers to her, consults her about everything, and you will never live up to her.
OR he hates her, constantly complains about her, and expects you to be the complete opposite of her.
Either way, there isn’t enough room in a relationship for you, him, and the giant Shadow Of His Mother.
It’s not enough for you to tell him he’s smart and funny and attractive. He needs to feel it and hear it from other people, too, and he’s willing to work for it by constantly flirting with other people, via email, at parties, in line at the grocery store, with the waitstaff of restaurants…everywhere. Even though he won’t straight out cheat, you’ll never feel enough for this guy, because, well, you aren’t.
He’s always emailing, texting, or running off to see “friends,” but you’re never invited to come along. It’s not that you suspect he’s cheating on you, but a guy who compartmentalizes his life like that is clearly not ready to share it with anyone else. Or he’s ashamed of you, or he’s ashamed of them: either way, no bueno.
For some reason, he always seems to date people who are complete basket cases, because he likes to play the hero. He gets off on coming in and acting as a stabilizing force, rescuing women from their situations or themselves, advising, helping, tranquilizing. The more messed up a woman is, the more attracted he feels: he needs to feel needed. But the second her life starts to get in order, he loses interest: because, without her issues to take away the focus from him, he’s left with his own problems and insecurities to deal with. And that he absolutely cannot do.
You were supposed to just stay in tonight, but it’s so-and-so’s last day at work, you see, and he should probably stop by, and also so-and-so is having a party for this thing, which might be fun to go to, after which so-and-so else is getting drinks nearby, and can’t you stop by, just for one?
This guy has serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), but the only thing he’s really missing out on is quality time with you.
At first, it’s flattering and endearing that this guy seems to think he’s so out of your league. He just can’t believe that you would ever be attracted to a guy like him, such a loser. In fact, he goes on and on about this, for so long, that eventually you start to believe him.
The Date Report is the blog of HowHookup.com, a dating site that makes it fun and easy to go on awesome dates. How it works: 1) Invent fun dates. 2) Ask people out. 3) Do something awesome, together. Sign up for free here. Don’t forget to join us on Twitter and Facebook — and