5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You’re Dating More Than One Personby Scott Alden on October 05, 2020
Last week we gave you 6 perfectly good reasons to date multiple people. But just because there are good reasons to play the field, that doesn’t make it any less complicated. Things can get muddy if you’re not sure what you’re in it for. Heck, they can get muddy even if you do.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself that will help you to keep your head on straight and your moral compass functioning.
1. Am I having fun?
Hopefully, the answer is “Yee-haw!!” But if not, why not? Is all that juggling stressing you out? What might make it easier on you?
2. Does everyone have all the information they need/want?
If you’re single and dating, you should assume that anyone you’re going on a date with is also single and dating and, therefore, might be dating other people. So, it’s not necessarily anyone’s responsibility to be forthcoming with every detail of their dating life.
If someone you’re dating feels that it has to be “all or nothing,” that’s valid, but it’s his or her responsibility to say so.
That said, if you suspect that someone might be uncomfortable with your dating style (e.g. They told you they’ve only ever been on one date before in their lives), it might be a good idea to give them a heads up.
3. Do I like one person more than the other(s)? Why?
It’s not only okay to ask this question, it’s essential. One of the best reasons to date multiple people is that it helps you to determine what really works for you. Being able to determine which qualities are most important to you in a partner (i.e. confidence, sense of humor, sexual attraction, intellectual stimulation, etc.) and who has which qualities will help you not to end up with a person who’s not right for you in the long term.
4. Am I stringing anyone along?
Has anyone that you’re dating confessed that they’re developing serious feelings and you’re not sure you feel the same way? If someone likes you more than you like them, that’s nothing to feel guilty about, but if you suspect that someone is really falling for you, it may be time to ask yourself if this is going anywhere or not and to act accordingly.
5. What do I want right now? What do I want ultimately?
It’s okay if the answer to both of these questions is “I don’t know.” It’s also okay if the answer is “to find the right person and get married as soon as possible.” But it’s important to be as honest as you can with yourself. More than likely, you’re not just having fun or just looking for the one. Exploring the specifics will help you to make clear decisions about your dating present and your dating future.