Did you guys hear about the crazy investment banker who flew to London to creepily stalk his ex-girlfriend? Gawker seems to think the story is a pretty good argument for never dating an investment banker, ever.

Sure, dating an investment banker seems nice. He’s rich! He dresses well! So what if he’s married? He takes you out on his boat! And then he follows you to London, breaks into your apartment, steals candlesticks, pretends to be an Israeli secret agent, and puts a tracking device in your bag.

Ok, yes, not appealing, but not sure we’re ready to make a definitive judgement on dating investment bankers based off of one crazy guy. Let’s try to be objective (or, as objective as possible, anyway), and list some actual pros and cons of dating an investment banker. (We actually asked some actual I-bankers to contribute their thoughts, and troublingly, most of them were “cons”….)

First, just to get it out of the way: money. Anyone who doesn’t think money is an appealing quality in a boyfriend or girlfriend simply hasn’t dated a rich one yet. Which is not to say that one should ever, ever date for money, but let’s be real: dating someone with copious disposable income is fun! Pro.

Depending on their exact jobs and positions, investment bankers work grueling schedules that involve 5 am wake-ups and lots of sitting at the restaurant bar and ordering another drink because your date is “caught up at work.” It also means finding yourself in bed at 9 pm on a Friday night, wide awake, staring at the ceiling while your boyfriend or girlfriend snores beside you. Con.

Because their work life is so focused and intense, when investment bankers let loose, they party hard. Like, Spring Break your sophomore year of college when you were 19, hard. Sometimes with drugs, definitely with alcohol. It can be very exhausting to keep up with them as they release the stress and tension of an 115-hour workweek in one night. Pro/Con, depending on how you feel about partying?

They always look so cute and professional when you meet up with them right after work and they’re still in their suits/work clothes. Pro.

They’re usually fairly responsible about money. They have all sorts of savings accounts and understand 401ks and interest rates and taxes, etc. Fiscal responsibility is sexy! Pro.

They aren’t always necessarily socially responsible about money. Which can sort of make you feel shitty, depending on how much of a conscience you have/you expect your significant other to have. Con.

At this point in their lives, work is the most important thing, not relationships. You’ll always come in second. Con.

They can often be egomaniacs and lack empathy, especially towards others complaining about work. (An i-banker we talked to said this!) Con, but Pro for self-awareness?

What do you guys think? Did we miss any pros or cons? Are Investment Bankers dateable? Any I-bankers out there want to defend themselves?


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