January is National Hobby Month — So What Does Your Hobby Say About Your Love Life?by Cass Colin on January 06, 2020
Beyond being a month of rebirth and resolutions, January is also National Hobby Month. And if you’re picking a hobby, you might as well pick something that will draw in a possible suitor. But what could your new possible pastime say about you? We’ve evaluated the various options out there, and are here to honestly tell you what your choice of entertainment says about you.
Knitting, Cross-Sitching, Embroidery: Unless you are a geriatric, this means you’re a nuevo crafter, looking to dazzle the Etsy underworld with your wares. You love NPR. You have serious thoughts about coffee. You’re sexy like glasses, serviceable and reliable. Unless you’re not.
Painting: Moody, emotional, creative. Yeah, this is going to work well for you — as long as you’re not bad at it. Then just never show it to anyone.
Ships in Bottles: Your patience and attention to detail is just sexy enough to excuse the fact that you usually put those skills to work making miniature boats that will only sail in used whiskey bottles. Or whatever.
Related: What Your Drink Says About You On a Date
Collecting: Really depends on what you’re collecting here. Cars? You’re very rich, but might have a small penis. Cards? You are 12. Stamps? You’re a grandpa. Basically, this sort of hoarding behavior can be suspicious, unless you’re amassing something actually cool without forcing people to wear white gloves when they enter your house. In moderation, people.
Magic: You were looking for something that would make you appear sexy and mysterious. Instead all people think about when they see you is white rabbits. Or Neil Patrick Harris, if you’re lucky.
Cooking: You’re a pleaser who lives life with gutso and flies by the seat of your pants. This is going to be fun.
Baking: You’re the opposite of what was said above. You’re focused, and fine-tuned. You’re a planner. You probably have great sex that makes the other person feel pleased, but maybe a little guilty after the fact.
Backpacking, hiking, general adventure: You’re active! Doing things! You are looking for a partner who will get up! Up! Up! And seize the day! You want action! You want vigorous love-making at regular intervals. You want scheduled fun with a good supply of water in a CamelBack. It might be tough to find a match up to your intense level of adventure, but it will be totally worth it.
Card Games: You cheat. Say whatever you want, but you cheat. Counting cards is a gateway drug.
Juggling: You want to people to think you’re dating a lot of people, but you’re just spending a lot of time at home learning to juggle.
Pottery: You’re going to do fine.
Calligraphy: You’re a die-hard Jane Austen loving romantic. Be proud, cat-lady. You love love. Just don’t jump the gun on the flowery letters. Too early, and they will chase people away.
Related: The Darcy Effect: Why Two Centuries Later, Mr. Darcy Is Still The Man
Tie-dying: You’re on drugs, which is cool. Just… you are.
Gardening: People might say that you’re a hippie (you are) or that you are on drugs (if you also tie-dye, yes), but you don’t mind getting dirty and tending to delicate living things. Hawt, seriously.
Amateur sports: See backpacking, hiking above. Dating is a sport you plan to excel in, but remember there’s no “I” in couple.