Listen, when guys get wasted EVERYTHING we do is unattractive. We slur, we leer, we look like gross, sad apes. It’s a bad scene.

Related: 6 Texts You Should Never Send To Someone You’re Dating

Women, on the other hand, can kind of pull it off. IF and only IF you can pull yourself together and avoid ALL of the following:

1. Singing “Pour Some Sugar on Me” at the top of your lungs

This song should be called “Have Terrible Sex With Me”

Related: What Your Drink Says About You On a Date

2. Stumbling

Stumbling sober is cute and Tina Fey-like. Stumbling drunk is sad and Snooki-like.

Related: 3 Times When It’s OK to Accept A Drink From A Guy You’re Not Into (And 3 Times it’s Not)

3. Asking me if you’re a terrible person

Um… Kinda?

Related: 20 Questions We Wish We Could Ask On A First Date

4. Saying “I need to vom” (actual vomiting not nearly as unattractive)

Honestly, I’d prefer “barf.”

5. Missing the straw

Imagine the face you’re making when it stabs you in the lip. Yeah, that one.

Related: We Still Don’t Know Why Women Get Off, Says Science

6. Deciding that now is a good time to try out winking for the first time

Is that…Do you have a twitch or something?

It’s totally cool. It happens. Just try to avoid the above and you’ll come off as more or less charming.

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