Dear Lana Del Rey, Sleeping On Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Couch Is a Really Terrible Ideaby Lilit Marcus on February 14, 2020
In an interview with T magazine, singer Lana Del Rey said that she doesn’t have her own apartment and has been crashing on her ex-boyfriend’s couch. That may be the absolute worst idea I have ever heard. It could lead to rebound sex, and even if you’re okay with some rebound sex it still creates a super awkward dynamic when you are mooching off of his apartment. Plus, his roommates must hate her, because who doesn’t hate a perma-houseguest who has enough money to move out but just chooses not to?
That said, I hope Lana is lying about this story as much as she’s lying about her real name and lips. Even if she’s early in her career and not raking in the cash yet, I’m sure her record label could find her a place to live for awhile. Saying that she’s staying on her ex’s couch does fit nicely in with the I-love-him-but-he-ignores-me persona she created in her song “Video Games,” so I’m going to cynic up over here and just call it a nice bit of viral marketing.
But seriously. Even if my ex was the nicest dude on earth, I’d still probably sleep in Penn Station before I’d crash on his couch. Lana, this would be an excellent excuse to shack up with some friends.