A brief conversation with my friend, Bradley, who is 25 and lives in San Francisco. (Previously.)

 


 

 

 

Bradley: Last time I went on vaction with parents I slept with a 45 and a 36 yr old. The 36 yr old I continued to stay with and sleep with in LA for 3 months. She bought me great dinners.

Me: !
did your parents know?

Bradley:  yeah.

Me:    omg
whaaat?
how does that work
[...]
helloooooooo?

Bradley:  sorry
getting water
so
it was NBA Playoffs
my parents generally birdwatch starting at like 330 or 4
so i dont see them until dinner
from then on

Me:    lol birdwatch

Bradley: I, of course head to the bar
well they hang out too, but they do birdwatch.
I’m sitting down there
at the bar
a couple ppl come up
and start talking to me
they were down there for a big firm meeting including sales reps
to celebrate hitting a revenue milestone

Me: ok

Bradley: I start talking to the 45 year old
who happens to be the organizer of the event
she invites me to a dinner/happy hour with them that night
at the hotel
i go to that
we all get drinks at the bar after
I make out with her

Me: in front of everyone??

Bradley: probably.
she texts me the next day
“in meetings etc all day,
come down after dinner they’ll all be drinking”
i come down at like 8
shes making out with some other dude

Me: ok see
at this point in the story
if it were me
i would
feel HORRIBLE

Bradley: why?

Me: like if a guy invited me to a party and was then making out with
someone else??

Bradley: i had no emotional attraction to this lady
sure
but free drinks
then as soon as i walk up
like a BRO she comes up
“oh sorry im making out with this dude
heres this 36yr old
shes younger and hotter
36yr old, this is Bradley”
and so it begins
they all get drunk
about 10 ppl including me go skinny dipping
36yr old gets cold
we make out
this sounds sluttier than i remember
haha

Me:  yeah, but keep going.

Bradley: uh, we go back to my room after?
make out on the balcony?
i’m sure we don’t need the gritty details here.
next day i see them again in the afternoon
36 yr old gets sick
migraine
i have dinner with the rents
they go to sleep i go out
spend the night talking to the 45 yr old about her recent divorce
meet more ppl at the company
now we’re in a routine
see them afternoon
hook up iwth the 36yr old at night
[...]
are you even listening?

Me: i am
that sounds like a great vacation.

[GChatting With Boys: The Cat Lady]

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