10 Things That Make Living Together Awesomeby Lauren Passell on April 23, 2020
After writing 5 Bad Reasons To Move In Together last week (which I stand behind, because they are all bad reasons to move in together), I realized the counter-argument needed to be made, too. Sometimes moving in is a great decision.
I always told myself I would never live with a boyfriend. I actually (seriously) thought I would have to have my own place if I ever got married. I’m an only child, I love being alone, and I loved my studio apartment so much, I couldn’t imagine anything (or anyone) that could tear me away. But then I met someone who could tear me away. And just when my lease ended, his roommate moved out, and it just sort of… made sense to move in together. If you would have told me 4 years ago that I would have loved living with a boyfriend, I would have called you a rotten stinkin’ liar. But now I’d call you right. Here’s why:
You Save A Ton Of Money
This might not change much if you already had a roommate, but if you’re used to living alone, this is like an instant break on your pocketbook. Plus, while you can save money with a roommate, you probably don’t share everything as you do in a romantic partnership — a CSA share, tequila, Netflix, the rent on a 1-bedroom. Splitting things and sharing responsibility is less like a business deal than it is with a roommate (“No, I bought paper towels last!”).
You Don’t Waste Those Hidden Pockets of Free Time
Yes, you plan special date nights — but that’s not the only time you get to have a date. You both come home from work late and are exhausted and just want to eat takeout and watch a movie? That’s a date. You don’t feel like getting out of bed until 4 PM on Saturday? That’s a date. You need to spend a Sunday morning tuning up your bicycles? That’s a date. Living together actually frees up my social calendar, too. I see my other friends more, because I get to see my boyfriend in all the overlapping little free spaces we have in our busy lives. I used to have to plan that sh*t out. But now, we get unexpected time together all the time. So it’s not such a big deal if I go out with friends and get home late or go away for a weekend. I know where he lives.
Every Night Is Fun
Even if you didn’t make plans, you are plan-less with someone, which doesn’t make you planless anymore.
People Like To Come Over
When I lived alone, my place was too small and uninviting for people to come over. It was always just easier for me to travel to other places. But now since my boyfriend and I are in one (bigger) place, we always have people who stop by. We have a potluck every Sunday. Our place is a homebase for all of our friends, which has made us closer.
You Get A Cat
Or you do something else that you wouldn’t have if left to your own, stubborn/lazy devices. I am 50% responsible enough to own a cat, and my boyfriend is at least that. Together, we make one suitable cat parent. (That’s our
kid cat, Monty, above.)
Your Boyfriend (or Your Girlfriend) Fixes Everything For You
When I lived alone, if a chair or something broke, I’d think, “Oh well, guess I guess I’ll never have one of those anymore!” Then I moved in with my boyfriend and he’d be like “You know, we can fix that.” And I’d say, “I can’t fix it, can you?” And he’d say yes. And then he’d fix it! If one of you doesn’t know how to fix something or solve something, the other might.
You Are Now Only 50% Responsible For Burning The Place Down
If I had a nickel for every time I thought I left a candle, my hair straightener, the stove (et al) on, I wouldn’t be writing for this blog, I’d be too busy counting my cash money dollar bills. It’s every day. It’s an irrational fear that I know many people share. But if my rational side can tell my irrational side, “Don’t worry dudette, your boyfriend will turn that sh*t off,” then I can stop freaking out about it.
It’s The Perfect Middle Ground
Sometimes I think we might as well be married — we act like it. I feel incredibly committed to our relationship, just as a married couple would feel. But we aren’t ready to be married, and so we aren’t. We live our lives together — but we haven’t had to grow up quite yet.
You Get To Know Someone So, So Well
I know my boyfriend pretty damn well now, and I have this to say: he is nicer than I am, he gets up at 6 AM every Saturday to watch European Football wearing his Arsenal jersey, and he is a little too short on the phone with his mom. Other stuff, too. I won’t get into it.
“I Think We’re Just Gonna Go Home.”
Couples that live together always get sh*t for going home instead of staying out dancing until 3 AM. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret: we go home early to have sex with each other. We don’t care if you try to make us feel like losers.