1. Penises can be broken.

2. Penile fractures are very painful.

3. They often occur during sexual acrobatics. (Say, trying to penetrate someone with a “flying leap.”)

4. They are more likely to occur during sex under stressful situations.  (Say, an extramarital affair.)

5. They are more likely to occur during aggressive sex.

6. They are more likely to occur when sex is taking place in wacky locales like cars, elevators and airplane restrooms.

7. When a penile fracture occurs, there is often “an audible crack and rapid detumescence with subcutaneous hemorrhage that follows.”

Dear Lord Baby Jesus. I don’t even have a penis and my penis hurts just thinking about that.

[io9]

 

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