If you’re one of those people who has to look away when awkward things are on TV, you should  not read/watch any of these marriage proposals gone horribly wrong. It is like getting kicked in the stomach by a team of 5-year-old soccer players. It’s just excruciating. A few things though:

This woman, who swallowed a diamond engagement ring hidden in her milkshake actually sounds awesome. She was racing her friends to see who could finish their Wendy’s Frosty shake first. I wonder why her fiancee didn’t step in to, you know, stop the Frosty contest? He must have just been too smitten with her chugging skills. Or he doesn’t like Wendy’s and prefers Arby’s. Maybe he was at Arby’s. That must be it.

This one:

is so bad because it is definitely real. Oh my God I want to go on a juice fast now or something. I think it is the only way to get this terribly sad and pathetic image out of my system.

This one, however:

looks totally fake. That woman books it out of there like a bat out of hell, like her boyfriend just said he was going to chop her head off. I mean, it’s believable.

Whenever guys ask their girlfriends to ask for their hand in marriage on TV or in front of an audience, the same thing happens: There is an awkward moment when they are talking to the host and they realize they need to start talking to their girlfriend. They do not know how to make that transition to “yes, hi, this is my girlfriend and I love her” to “will you marry me, girlfriend?” It’s not because they’re stupid, it’s because this whole thing is a terrible idea and there is no good way to do it. Let’s stop so we don’t have to torture ourselves watch these things anymore, ever again.

Ugh. I can’t take it anymore. Read the rest for yourself.

[Happy Place]