Michaele and Tareq Salahi, best known for being the Real Housewives of DC castmembers who crashed a party at the White House, are getting a divorce. Last year, Michaele left her husband for Neal Schon from the band Journey. Since then, Tareq has been coping with the breakup in a lot of bad ways, including giving lots of interviews about how much Michaele ruined his life and even trying to sue her. No, you can’t sue someone for dumping you, but Tareq sure tried – he filed a $50 million suit (on Valentine’s Day, nonetheless) claiming that Michaele had destroyed their “brand” and that it would be really hard for him to get work without her. Not surprisingly, a judge threw out the case today and said it had no legal merit.

Look, I think we’ve all had a breakup where we felt so wronged that we would have liked to have a court agree with us. In some cases, it is actually possible to have a breakup-related lawsuit: Fantasia Barrino was called into court during her boyfriend’s divorce, since in her state adultery is illegal and had an effect on a divorce ruling. But you can’t sue someone for hurting your feelings. But here are a few things you can do:

  • Gather around all your stuffed animals and act out an imaginary court case. I won’t judge you, but that stuck-up polar bear might.
  • If you’re sad you missed out on the chance to make a big sweeping courtroom speech, make a modified version to your best friend, your therapist, or your journal.
  • Redefine your identity without your ex. Tareq seems to think that he’s not worth anything without Michaele around – after all, it wasn’t called Real Househusbands of DC. The first thing he needs to do is figure out what he contributes and find a way to assert his identity without Michaele. Have you ever picked up an interest or hobby just so that you and your boyfriend could have something in common? Time to drop it.
  • Replace a negative with a positive. Every time you have the urge to call your ex, say something mean about them, or email your lawyer, come up with a positive activity you can do instead. Want to file another claim? Eat a truffle. Want to leave a rambling voicemail message? Take a yoga class.
  • Remember that fair is fair. Tareq has been running his mouth all over the news with every bad Michaele story he can come up with, including the fact that she’s lying about having MS. Although you may think that painting your ex makes you look better by comparison, it also means that your own dirty laundry is fair game.
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