Happy Birthday, William Shakespeare!
Not that we condone the use of marijuana, but 4/20 is an international holiday, right? There’s bound to be TONS of lovely stoner chicks out there “celebrating” tonight and your regular game just won’t phase them.
Girl, I’d watch you from behind a chain-link fence.
“Listen, I’ve been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.”
Come back to my place — I’ll give you a Peeps show.
I don’t know what it is about today, but I’m fooling in love with you.
Even the most wilting wallflower can work up the nerve for this simple and effective move.
Hey, good-lookin’. Let’s take a 17-month hiatus together and then pretend it never happened.
Girl, you look like you were created by Cinna himself.
Would you sleep with someone who owned these shoes? Alberto Moretti, artistic director of Arfango, wouldn’t. And he’s banking on the fact that nobody else would, either.
You want to stand out from all the other Americans drunkenly hitting on your Irish bartender this Saturday? Use this line.
If this doesn’t sound familiar, I salute you. You must be one of those swashbuckling and most enviable of gentlemen who has already conquered his juvenile fear of talking to girls and perhaps — gasp! — being rejected.
I’ve danced with Thing 1, and held hands with Thing 2. But not a creature in Whoville compares to you.
Pickup lines almost never seem right, but I never thought they could be out-right horribly offensive. Thank you, Chris Brown, for proving me wrong.
Twitter: more than just a platform for self-promotion and witty commentary during televised events!