1. “Girl you should’ve listed me as a deduction, cuz I am dependent on your love.”

2. “Listen honey, being with me is so good it’s taxable.”

3. “Baby how bout we leave this McDonald’s and get started on that additional child tax credit?”

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4. “Listen, I’ve been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.”

5. “Hey, how bout you increase your charitable contributions by handing me your digits?”

6. “I can show you exactly how to earn your income tax credit.”

7. “You know, I’ve gained quite a lot of interest from certain parties this last year. Just sayin.”

8. (For you HowHookup users) “So do you file electronically around here often?”

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9. “Don’t you try to claim an exemption, I saw you staring at me across the room.”

10. “You know, my return this year was huge…like, huuuuge.”

11. “After filing today, I learned I have quite a strong flexible spending account. Are you flexible?”

12. “Baby if I take you home? It’s an experience you ain’t gonna be writing off anytime soon.”

13. “Listen I don’t know what the hell an S corporation is, but I know I want to buy you a drink.”

14. “Let me tell you somethin: if you’re filing with me? You’re definitely filing a…’10-40.’”

15. (And in case you need to reject someone) “Listen, I’d love to sleep with you, but it’s tax day and I feel like I’ve already been screwed by an entire government agency.”

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