The Worst Thing You Can Say to Your Girlfriend in a Fightby Chiara Atik on March 15, 2020
The article was full of sound advice — talk in the first person, don’t bring your friend’s opinions into it, don’t make empty threats, etc, etc.
But one point in particular struck me as especially sage advice for guys who find themselves arguing with their girlfriends.
No matter how ugly things get, no matter how angry you feel, there is one thing you must never, ever, ever say to a woman:
Aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh there is nothing more belittling or aggravating than a guy who tells you to calm down.
First of all, I am calm. You don’t want to see not calm.
Second of all, telling me to “relax” or “calm down” is basically the same thing as telling me I’m overreacting to a problem, which is really condescending. If you want me to respect your point of view, you sure as hell better respect mine.
Telling me to “settle down,” “take it easy,” or “chill” are all ways of passive-aggressively communicating that you think I’m behaving irrationally, or, dare I say, hysterically. Which, given its dicey etymology, is another word you really, really want to avoid while arguing with a woman.
Good luck, guys!
[How to Win an Argument With Your Girlfriend]